ladyamelia's Blog

I have been thinking too much lately…thinking about women who have awesome men and don’t realize what they have…then I think…maybe that’s what the whore thought about me…I didn’t know what I had…but I did know…I loved him..Served him in every way… I was the good 1950’s wife…cooked his meals, fixed his plate, carried him his plate, did his laundry, laid out his clothes, when things got really bad and he laid down his rules of how sex would go I still did what he asked, trying to please him even though it made me feel less of a woman…so here I am…seeing women throw away good men…men who give them everything…and I wonder…is that what they think of me…

One of the girls I work with is finding herself as the other woman...wanting me to help her... I usually have no tolerance for such a woman but I like this kid...so the angry wife in me is explaining to her that everything she is saying about his wife....last year at this time someone was saying it about me.."she mean...dosnt love him...doent have sex with him". That was his whore saying it about me...my friend thinks it's a different situation...it's not...Im a real world person...the fantasy looks so good...run off with them...but I have to live in the real world...kids..family..responsibility...I hope I can teach this girl and not be the angry wife with her.....

I hate to be drug around...just speak your mind...tell me..
No matter how you think it will hurt...please just say it...if it's me...say it...if it's something else say it...truth is always better...no matter the pain it may cause...All I want to to be what you need...if you don't tell me I can't be it...avoiding me...does not fix our situation...yeah I got questions...and I will for awhile...i can feel everything you feel but I can't read your mind.....

Found this and I wanted to share....kisses.....

Medicine: Guardianship; Strength; Protection; Balance; Loyalty; Intuition; Communication and Guidance
Cycle of Power: Year Round; Full Moon; Twilight

 

WOLF IS THE PATHFINDER AND GUIDE.  IN THE PRESENCE OF WOLF, TEACHING IS TAKING PLACE. 

WHEN THE RAVEN IS PRESENT, THE TEACHINGS ARE OF THE UNSEEN WORLD.



The Wolf is a powerful, swift, and cunning brother of the woods. The Wolf is said to have a special relationship with his two-legged brothers and sisters. Stories abound about young two-legged being raised in the forests by Wolves. Wolves are said to possess many human qualities such as love, loyalty, and friendship. They also make for powerful enemies of those who would tip the fragile balance of nature.


Despite myths and misinformation of their fierceness and blood-thirst, Wolves are friendly, social and highly intelligent. Their sense of family is strong and loyal, and they live by carefully defined roles and rituals. Wolves are the epitome of the Wild Spirit of Pristine Nature. The Arctic or White Wolf is probably the purest breed, surviving in an isolated area around the Arctic Circle. The great symbolism of the White Wolf suggests it is Sacred, Holy and Pure. The White Wolf as your Totem indicates that you have a loyal and powerful Guardian and Protector around you at all times.


Wolves are very ritualistic in as many ways as humans. They live by carefully defined rules. There are specific territories and boundaries that are sacred, and their social behavior is based on a hierarchical structure with Alpha Male or Female leading and directing the Pack. Every member of the pack learns its role from birth. Every member of the pack knows its position in relation to its other members. This ritualistic behavior that ranks the Wolves are part of Wolf Magic and Medicine. The Alpha Male does not rule supreme; nor is the Pack a democracy. Wolf teaches the balance between authority and democracy; how to use ritual to establish order and harmony within your life and family; and to understand that true freedom requires discipline and following Natural Law.

The Alpha Male and Female often mate for life; and all members of the Pack show care and affection for the pups. If you were to keep company with Wolves, you would find an enormous sense of family within the Pack, as well as a strong individualistic urge. If the mother and father are unable to care for their young, another member will adopt them. Some wolves even serve as baby sitters for the pups. Wolf Medicine teaches this strong family loyalty and support system; respect and honor for the family, both the elders and the children. 

Wolves do not fight (or attack) unnecessarily; in fact, they often go out of their way to avoid any trouble. Wolf uses Raven as aerial spotters for possible food sources and to alert them of any danger that may be ahead. In return for this service, Raven shares in the feast Wolf provides by the Prey. Raven is the Holy Messenger, Magic and Shape Shifter that is closely associated with Wolf and may be considered part of Wolf Medicine as well.


Wolves do indeed have the capability of being fierce of going “tooth, fang and claw”; but they don’t have to demonstrate it. They are extremely strong and powerful; however, often only a glance, posture or growl is all that is necessary to determine dominance and/or keep the peace. Part of Wolf Medicine is to learn who you are and to develop strength and confidence; but to know that you do not have to physically demonstrate and prove yourself to others.


Wolves are predators by nature; however, they prey most often on the sick, the young and the old, or disabled. Deer is the most common prey animal (and may also be part of your totem). Wolves travel great distances in their hunting (up to 15-25 kilometers in one night), and they possess the stamina and strength that enables them to cover these distances and for extended periods. While they can maintain speeds up to 28 MPH for short distances, they seem to be able to trot at about 5 MPH indefinitely.


Wolf Medicine tells you that slow and steady gets the prize; but you have the capability of speeding things along should it become necessary. The predatory nature of the Pack when it hunts emphasizes the importance of teamwork and cooperation within the family or group. There really is no such thing as a “lone Wolf.” Wolf will travel great distances in search of Truth and Knowledge and return to the Pack to teach and share their Medicine. Wolves usually consume all they capture, to the point of gorging themselves. The Arctic or White Wolf has an expanding stomach that allows for even more food storage because the scarcity of prey in their environment. This can indicate a need to make use of all that is available to you to make the most out of what you have. Wolf reminds you not to waste as much as to remind you to keep your spirit alive and nourished.


Wolves have a complex communications system using body language. The movement of the head and even the tail, direct eye contact and facial expressions all have great meaning; and each Wolf learns from the time they are pups how to read and respond. Those with Wolf Totems are usually expressive with hands, posture, face or some other manner. Wolf teaches you to empower your verbal communications with appropriate body language.


Wolves also have a complex system of vocal communications the howl; whine; growl whimper and even the bark. The howls they are famous for have a variety of meaning: a signal to others or to locate the other members of the Pack; to warn; to mourn; to greet; to make territory; and sometime to just howl for sheer joy of howling. The mournful cry of the Wolf is the sound that links this World with the one beyond.... Wolf is the pathfinder.


Wolves have extremely keen senses, particularly that of smell which is said to be 100 times greater than humans. This sense of smell endows Wolf with great Discernment, and the sense of smell has often been associates with Spiritual Idealism in metaphysical circles.


The Wolf has excellent hearing sensitivity, and is a reminder that you should listen to others, especially those closest to you; but also to yourself your most inner thoughts and words. This will strengthen and enhance your own intuition and discernment. This idea is even further emphasized by the thick coat of fur the Wolf has. Fur and hair have long been symbols of psychic abilities. The Wolf has both an inner and an outer coat, giving it the ability to reflect the archetypal forces associated with psychic insight. The White Wolf has an extremely dense hide and coat that can enable it to survive sub-zero temperatures in the Arctic. Each spring he must then shed this thick outer coat perhaps symbolic that you should also shed the outer layer of your Self to reveal what is truly underneath; and to also indicate that after each “winter season” there is a rebirth of spiritual growth.


Wolf brings with him a strong sense of faithfulness, inner strength and intuition. But the Wolf also brings learning. Sometimes one needs to cross barriers, take risks, go beyond the limited compass of 'normal' behavior in order to learn and grow, although crossing these boundaries may seem repugnant, even painful. But fear not the inner power and strength you feel when you spend time alone. Instead come to know your deepest self and even in the darkest places, with Wolf as ally, you will find closeness and spiritual companionship. You are never alone. Above all, Wolf will teach you, through your experience, to trust yourself and not to fear or reject those parts of you that you don't yet understand or know. Wolf will guard you as it teaches, sometime gently and sometimes strongly if not harshly but always with love.


"May Wolf ever walk beside you and grant you rest in his shadow,

May his paws ever guide your path and your howls be heard by all..."


 

I have been so angry for the past few weeks...I hate it...things are good...well things are ok...I don't know if I am feeding off the energy of someone else or what...I hate it...My girls are my good points...and I look forward to my special call...so I can't understand why I'm feeling angry...oh well I guess this too shall pass...

Today is one of those days, I woke up and my mind was already racing. Thinking too much, wondering what it is about me that run men off.  Nope I’m not young, don’t pretend to be, nope not a size 4 and I’m ok with that.  So what am I doing wrong that runs away men?  Yeah I guess I speak my mind too much, but I am FAR from submissive, I will not take crap from anyone, I love deeply and give my heart way to easy. But I anit gonna change that for sure, if it means being alone forever, I will not compromise who I am for anyone, much less a man. 

Every day he tells me he loves me and misses me.  If he loved me why did he cheat, I know, we drifted apart, we became buddies, lost who we were as husband and wife.  Life became so routine, he thinks I was happy, I was, kinda, but I missed affection and touching, kissing and making love.  I just didn’t have the chance to find a boyfriend. he thinks i didn't want some one to tell me i was beautiful, bring me roses like he did her, take care of me, make me their world... and Then he thinks that no one would have me…really…

So here again I am left alone, wanting him home, but not wanting him home.  Once a cheater always a cheater, or so everyone keeps telling me…I never dreamed I’d be 40 and be at this craptastic point in my life…if it wasn’t for my girls I would just give up…but I have to be strong for them. Show them that a Lady is strong, and will not crumple…

So I’ll sit here today, let my mind race and the tears fall and then tomorrow I will be better…..

There are many types of women in our society, but the one that cries out for the healing the loudest is the Wounded Female Warrior. You long to transform yourself into the Goddess, even though you might not use those words to describe your longing. 



Who is the Goddess? 

The Goddess is quite simply the embodiment of the Divine in a female body. She is discerning and acts with integrity. She has a core of inner peace that is unshakable. The Goddess radiates an energy that is so powerfully beautiful, loving and soft, that others are drawn to her like a magnet. 

She may have been a Wounded Warrior at one time, but she has healed her wounds. She has released the anger, pain, fear, guilt and judgment. She has let go of feelings of betrayal and abandonment. She has replaced those lower-vibration emotions with compassion and joy. She has transformed her limiting beliefs, attitudes, and thought patterns into a loving allowance for all to be as they are. She has no need to change anybody, for she sees the Divine in all beings. She understands that any attack is simply a demonstration of fear. She remembers fear, and yet knows how to neutralize it with her unlimited flow of love. 

The Wounded Warrior and the Goddess -- two powerful female archetypes. One tired and wounded; one radiant and healed. How did the Warrior get wounded? And how can she transform herself into the Goddess? To answer these questions, you must first understand how energy moves in humans. 

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Found this and really liked it

I’m learning to let him go a lil more each day…and no I don’t mean my husband…which is the worst part of this whole thing.  Funny how you can give your heart to someone you have never held, touched, or met…I never believed that you could love two people at the same time…I always thought it was bull…maybe it’s not…maybe it’s not really love…maybe it is something different all together…I never thought that people could have more than one soul mate…he showed me you can…he showed me a lot…about me, about how strong I can be, about what I want out of my life, he made me stronger for my girls and for myself…he walked in when my husband walked out…but now I have to let him go…forget him… he was like a dream…so each day, I won’t check email just to see if maybe he thought of me, I’ll get rid of his picture at some point…move on and work on my marriage… but keep a tiny part of him in my heart…